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Brown Bag = Beer Camouflage E-mail
Monday, 11 February 2008
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The year was 2000, and we were in Boulder, Colorado. It seems so liberal, and so understanding, that you just can't fathom there being any laws. At least when you are just starting college, and back in town to head up to Flagstaff Mountain and lay upside down on a 45 degree angle rock and look at the city and pretend the sky is the ocean. But that comes later, after walking into random frat parties and just telling everyone that Enoch invited you, and then being led to the beer bongs. And then, we go for a walk with a road soda in hand, and we can't fathom that Dodge Durango being...wait, yes it is...it is a police car with two female cops. A few things happen which warrant a list:

  • nate drops his drink and takes off running
  • two of us remain, bewildered, holding our "pepsi" bottles
  • we receive tickets and $100 fines
  • where's nate though?
  • let's try walking up the street
  • "hey guys you better come inside...your homeboy's fucked up in here!"
  • nate comes out of bathroom with missing teeth as a result of a fence-hopping attempt gone wrong, in which he landed on his face instead of his feet
  • the owner of the house talks to us about Ray Kurzweil and pours us shots
  • two days later, we hear that nate has fake teeth in place while he awaits his new permanent teeth
  • we get in the car to go visit him and take pictures of what he referred to as "bunny teeth" but he won't answer the door
So, what is the moral of the story? Well, we should have had brown bags, because when you are drinking out of a brown bag, no officer of the law is going to harass you. It will look like you are just drinking cold milk and need some insulation for your fingers. 

 


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