I saw this funny advert the other day that prompted some research of the recent advances in genital gadgetry.
While I have been hitting up Planned Parenthood for my free stash in a brown bag, scientists and rubber connoisseurs alike have apparently been involved in a "Pimp My Protection" contest. Here is some of the latest and greatest in the world of exterior contraception.
1. Bend it like Beckham?
Tigers, dragons and a shark cut to top it off. When this condom brand threw Beckham's mug on the box (without his permission), they instantaneously became the top seller in China. I don't know about the "long love" tag line though, seems a bit ambiguous. Desensitizes? Builds lasting relationships?
2. Trojan Vibrating Ring
Call me old fashioned, but as a male, the idea of attaching gyrating machinery to my genitals lacks any serious appeal. For some reason it conjures up parallels to tossing a toaster in the bathtub. The Trojan Vibrating Ring rocks out with your...whatever...it lasts up to 20 minutes and can be used in conjunction with the included condom or without. Should you opt for the latter, click here.
As a journalistic sacrifice, I have given this product a try. I can now confirm that it does in fact give a male the same amount of pleasure as having a 9 year old kick the back of your seat throughout the duration of a trans-atlantic flight.
3. Durex Mutual Pleasure: Spanning the generations.
In an attempt to appeal to the youngsters, these jimmies double as BMX bike grips. Also highly effective for scrubbing the grout between your bathroom tiles for you baby boomers.
Measuring in at a hair under 3ft (2'9"), Aditya 'Romeo' Dev is my hero the world's smallest bodybuilder. Weighing in at 9kg, this little bastard can lift 1.5kg dumbells. Romeo has trained for the last two years ago and predicts that he's the world's strongest dwarf. However, grandoise a feat that may be, his ultimate goal is to peform with British pop sensation, Jazzy-B. Definitely a strong follow-up to last week's 'Sports Fashion Icons' article we ran. For the full-length version, visit the Daily Mail. Read the entire article and try to keep a straight face - I dare you.
The Latebirds moped gang are organizing a moped rally in Los Angeles this weekend for all who are interested. The festivities begin at Little Radio Friday afternoon and continue throughout the weekend with three seperate rides around the city and through the hills, including a 100 mile trek on Saturday. The itinerary calls for camping, drinking, riding and drinking, so if you are not participating, I would recommend that you stay indoors or safely hidden behind a tree or wall if you would like to observe the action. Be forewarned, these guys are seriously into their mopeds, so if you are considering rocking a Yamaha Vino or God forbid a Goped, you might as well be boogie boarding the Huntington Pier.
The year was 2000, and we were in Boulder, Colorado. It seems so liberal, and so understanding, that you just can't fathom there being any laws. At least when you are just starting college, and back in town to head up to Flagstaff Mountain and lay upside down on a 45 degree angle rock and look at the city and pretend the sky is the ocean. But that comes later, after walking into random frat parties and just telling everyone that Enoch invited you, and then being led to the beer bongs. And then, we go for a walk with a road soda in hand, and we can't fathom that Dodge Durango being...wait, yes it is...it is a police car with two female cops. A few things happen which warrant a list:
nate drops his drink and takes off running
two of us remain, bewildered, holding our "pepsi" bottles
we receive tickets and $100 fines
where's nate though?
let's try walking up the street
"hey guys you better come inside...your homeboy's fucked up in here!"
nate comes out of bathroom with missing teeth as a result of a fence-hopping attempt gone wrong, in which he landed on his face instead of his feet
the owner of the house talks to us about Ray Kurzweil and pours us shots
two days later, we hear that nate has fake teeth in place while he awaits his new permanent teeth
we get in the car to go visit him and take pictures of what he referred to as "bunny teeth" but he won't answer the door
So, what is the moral of the story? Well, we should have had brown bags, because when you are drinking out of a brown bag, no officer of the law is going to harass you. It will look like you are just drinking cold milk and need some insulation for your fingers.
Here's a treat for the sneakerheads. Inside Nike: a documentary which focuses on the brand's early rise from sports brand to THE iconic lifestyle brand. Here's a brief teaser on what will air on Feburary 12th.
PETA is Playboy with a conscience. Every now and then at TLS, we really like to get behind a cause. This PETA poster campaign, boasting that these famous women would "rather go naked than wear fur," has sold us. Grab your hacky sack, here are some of the hottest hippies you have ever seen.
Found this video while trolling around on the internet. Makes me really want to skate. Includes montage footage from Rattray, McCrank and some other old guys (some bearded), killing the mini ramp.
